How to Get Over a Bad Day

A little story …

Recently, I lost a really important file. There was a deadline attached, it had involved a LOT of work, and suddenly, it disappeared. Gone. I was in a panic – a frenzy to find it.

I searched everywhere. I told significant others, who offered suggestions about what to do, but it looked like I was going to have to start all over again. It was hopeless. It was a really bad day.

Then, I slept badly. Eventually, I mustered a little energy to make herbal tea for me and my partner – who was also a victim of my bad day.

Somehow, this morning, it magically showed up, oddly, right where it was supposed to be. How could I have missed it? It was an example of too much stress and emotion clouding my thinking. Just one of those “hidden right under your nose” kind of things.

I got lucky.

Sadly, not all crises have such a good outcome. But this one made me rethink my strategy of handling a bad day.

While it’s perfectly ok to be upset, angry or frazzled in any way when bad days arrive, what really matters is how you respond after the bad day has happened.

What worked for me was just taking a break and getting outside my head, letting things settle, then deciding on how to handle the aftermath.

You don’t have to pretend that everything is ok – but, you can demonstrate to people close to you that you are perfectly capable of handling the most dire state.

I totally understand – you may not want to take a time out and get calm to regain control, but instead hide under the covers and sleep until the bad stuff goes away. Yes, I feel for you.

But the sooner you calm your emotional reaction, the sooner the sun will come out.

You can do this.

How? Here’s the recipe to follow …

Step 1. Stop whatever you are doing. This is the pause moment.

Take a few really slow deep breaths while you take your attention away. Go outside, sit under a tree, walk in the park, or even stand by a window where there is a view of nature if you can.

Which parts can you do something about? Awful stuff always has two parts, the crisis event that doesn’t change, and the bit you can change. Mostly it’s about your attitude.

It’s hard to make good decisions when you’re in an emotional moment. It’s time to settle down so you can be more objective, understanding, and compassionate with yourself, and also with any others who might be involved.

Better decisions come from peace.

Step 2. Think about your options

This is when you have a THINK. In that moment between the in breath and the out breath comes inspiration. You may not be able to change the crisis event, but you can move on. For example the crisis might be about letting someone down because you were late, didn’t plan well, or perhaps it’s something outside your control, like a kid getting sick or a project at work that has changes imposed by the hierarchy at work.

Brainstorm all the options, and talk it over with someone who can listen objectively.

Step 3. Make a plan

This doesn’t have to be set in concrete. As soon as you start planning, the outlook will seem clearer, and tweaks can be made as you go along.

Step 4. Do one small thing now to move it along.

Make it a really small thing. Even a tiny 2-3 minute task will do wonders to get you out of your stuck state.

Take the garbage out, make the bed, clear the desk, hug the dog, the kids, your partner, and tell yourself that you can manage just fine. You can have coffee with a friend, but not get drunk. Those things might seem irrelevant, but it’s doing something ordinary that helps you settle yourself.

Then do the next thing. You’ll know what it is by now. Then the next. Make adjustments as you go.

Have the courage to face your challenges, because fortune favours the brave.

Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s acknowledging that living each day means putting on your brave face and pushing ahead in spite of the fear. As Winston Churchill once said, “when you’re going through hell keep going”. You will come out the other side. If it is going to turn out to be more than one bad day you might need to manage it like a project. Consider all the steps, break them down into small manageable pieces and take one at a time.

Like eating elephants…

Having a bad day sucks. Indeed. But, interestingly, your response to this problem is what really matters.

That bad day happened. That’s now in the past.

Your response, however, is happening right now and it’s what you can do something (positive) about.

If you do not respond well, then the problem will leak into tomorrow, and like weeks, multiply.

However, adapting to life with ADHD can be challenging, and it helps to have a wing man who likes and respects you to hold your hand, especially when the going gets tough.

Apply the steps above right away. I think you’ll find a great sense of relief and get things back in order quite fast.

[box]

If you’re struggling with ADHD in life or in you career, then contact me and we can discuss some options to get you on track.
[/box]