How To Deal With ADHD and Idea Overwhelm

Photo by Issam Hammoudi at Unsplash

Let me start with a story …

I’ve got a client with ADHD and she can be really overwhelming. She gets wildly enthusiastic about all her new ideas, she rings all her friends to tell them about them, and as she adds to them she calls again to tell them about the revisions and extra details as well.

It drives people crazy. She doesn’t mean to. It’s just that she really wants to help and doesn’t understand that her friends can suffer from idea overload.

Some of her ideas are great, she has a wonderful fresh way of thinking outside the box.

But some of her ideas are dreadful and totally unworkable. Some are great but are better for the future.

This client, who I’ll call Zoe, is great at brainstorming, but not good at filtering her ideas, and so all her friends and colleagues get an excessive earful of absolutely everything that goes through her head.

Last week she and her friends wanted to organise a camping trip for the Easter weekend. Her other friends had good ideas too, but they felt overwhelmed by Zoe’s input. Being kind, her friends patiently listened. However Zoe can sense that it was a bit much.

If you’ve been in Zoe’s shoes before, with lots of brilliant ideas, but are burying your friends with them, here’s what I suggest you do to keep good will and contribute in a good way:

Step 1. Realise what is important

You want to maintain your relationships, so understand that others might not necessarily accept your thinking in the spirit you intended. Take a deep breath and pause before your next great idea. Think it through first, and be strategic.

Consider it from all angles. Every good idea has a positive side and also a negative one. Following one course of action means that you might not be able to do something else. There might be sacrifices to be made. Imagine that you want to see a movie and have dinner with your friends. If the movie is showing early you might need to have dinner later. Conversely, if the movie is late you would have to eat early, perhaps earlier than usual. The movie might be showing at one cinema but not at the one close to your favourite restaurant.

Or you want to camp by the lake but your friends prefer to be near the beach. You have been longing to camp by the lake, but to push the issue might really upset your friends. If you do it their way this time they might be more inclined to go along with your preference next time. It’s okay to put that idea out there.

Listen to their ideas. You have two ears and only one mouth for a reason. Listen and think twice as much as you talk. Friends can feel overwhelmed by too much input all at once.

Step 2. Gather your ideas

Brainstorm. First brainstorm your ideas by yourself. Write them all down. A few suggestions for this are

Write each new idea on a sticky note. Stick them on the back of a door, the toilet or bathroom door, bedroom door, home study door, a suitable wall, a whiteboard or the frig. Now rearrange them with your favourite ones at the top. You don’t have to reject out of hand the least favourite ideas, they might come in handy later. Pick out 3 – 5 of the best ideas .
Other places to gather ideas are a notebook, or note app on your smartphone, computer or tablet.
Talk it over with someone who understands the way your brain works and is sympathetic. Be careful of over using that person’s generosity though.

Edward De Bono, the great thinking guru who devised the Six Thinking Hats, wrote some amazing strategies for thinking more creatively and productively. Some of these include, think about all the negative implications. Yeah, right, I can hear you thinking. What’s negative thinking got to do with it? Well, the thing is even great ideas have a shadow side. Likewise bad ideas can have a positive element to watch for. That’s why it’s good to consider everything, but maybe not inflict everything on your friends. He calls this strategy PMI, which stands for Plus, Minus, and Interesting.

Step 3. Sort your ideas

Pick the best ones. They are at the top of your list. Now sort out the least possible ideas and put them together, make a column for them too. Then some ideas will be neither positive or negative, but they might be interesting enough to consider either now or at another time.

Now take your best ideas and consider all the possible consequences. If you do A, what will be the outcome. What will need to be adapted, like in the case of seeing your preferred movie against your friends’ choices. Is it worth damaging the relationship to stick to your guns?

Once you have thought carefully you can share your ideas. People will respect you more for being discriminate. There will always be times when you can be totally spontaneous. That’s what characterises many people with ADD/ADHD. However if you can filter your thinking before you land your ideas on others, people will be more likely to accept, and if necessary, forgive your less appropriate outbursts.

Read more about De Bono’s concepts here, or even better, buy the book. You won’t be sorry.

Note: If you fail, or the outcome is not as good as you’d hoped, apologise, but don’t call more times to over apologize.

Don’t call multiple times either to check that they’re ok.That will tick people off too.

Now have a think about your most recent thought blunder. What could you do differently next time?

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If you’re struggling with ADHD in life or in you career, then contact me and we can discuss some options to get you on track.
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