Four Reasons Your Exciting New Year’s Resolutions Haven’t Happened (Yet)

I always love hanging up a new calendar, and starting a new diary. It’s so full of possibilities, there are all those blank pages just waiting to be filled.

If, like me, you do spend time thinking about life, it’s likely you’ll want to improve something these seven areas:

1. Your job or career
2. Your health
3. Your family
4. Your friend relationships
5. Your finances
6. The fun in your life
7. Integrating that wonderful professional development into your practice
8. And so forth…

And those are some good places to focus.

So why do so many people fail, when their goals are so well intentioned?

Reason for Failure #1 – It’s not clear enough.

Some examples:

• You want to get fit.
• You want to lose weight.
• You want to develop your career.

Let’s take losing weight.

While it’s a good idea, it isn’t specific enough.

It’s too hard to envision so it’s not tangible.
There’s no timeline, so it’s easy to put off till later.
Also, is it 5 pounds, 10 pounds, or fit into your favorite outfit.

You should get specific, detailed and exact about what it is you want to accomplish so that it’s real – that you can taste it! If you are avoiding it because it still seems too hard, break it up into really tiny steps. If you still aren’t getting that first step done, make it even smaller. If it’s about getting more sleep try turning out the light just 15 minutes earlier. If you want to be more focussed at work try writing yourself a list at the end of the day of three things you want to start on next morning. Decide which is the most important to start on. If it’s about exercise, put comfortable shoes and socks ready by the door. Ladies, put your stilettos in a carry bag and change  later.

Reason for Failure #2 – It’s easy to let it slide.

There’s nothing holding you to it. There are no consequence if you backslide, and so it’s easy to just do nothing.

The advice is to “get accountable” by …

• Starting small. Don’t give up chocolate completely, just cut it down. If it’s that wine before dinner, have one glass instead of two.
• Have a friend that you have to report to, to keep accountable, so that you’ll feel bad if you don’t do it.
• Create a visual reminder. If it’s losing weight, find a picture of yourself when you were lighter, or someone you want to emulate to help you remember – and motivate out.
• Build in a reward for yourself. For example, for me, I’ve rewarding myself with 10 minutes playing with the dog after half an hour on a difficult project. Kids love star charts, and so do some adults, because it’s a visual reinforcer that’s still there tomorrow.

That dose of positivity, will keep you going!

Reason for Failure #3 – Life gets in the way

Supposing you start a meditation or exercise habit, you set aside a particular time each day and everything goes well for a while.

But then a demand on your time when you would normally be out walking. It might be a crisis or something urgent. You fall of the the horse for a few days.

How do set yourself up to not get hit with those goal saboteurs?

The urgent, important stuff you can’t avoid like the house or office is on fire.

But the “seemingly urgent stuff” that’s truly not important needs to be blocked off, like these:

• The phone, virtually never urgent, but people always pick it up. So turn off that phone and check for messages later.
• Other people, family members, friends or colleagues who come to interrupt with their small items that they think are important, but almost always are not. So tell them you’ll get back to them later and that you’re busy.

These can really challenges your willpower, but it must be done if you are to get important things done.

Reason for Failure #4 – It’s not your goal, it’s someone elses.

Often we find ourselves accepting goals that we truly DO NOT want, that others bestow upon us.

It’s because someone else thinks it’s a good idea – like the doctor says you need to lose weight, but you’re not ready to do it.

Or, someone else wants you to clean up your clutter and you don’t want to spend time on that.

It may be time to say no.

You’ll need to talk to that person and see if the goal or task or project is worthwhile to you!

In conclusion …

So make sure your that your goals are …

1. Ultra clear and specific.
2. Really small so that you don’t get overwhelmed. Break them down into tiny progressive pieces.
3. You have accountability measures in place so it won’t slide.
4. Plan ahead for life so it doesn’t get in the way.
5. Not someone else’s goals, but you’re own exciting ones.

Are you ready for an exciting new year 2019?

If you’re struggling with ADHD in life or in you career, then contact me and we can discuss some options to get you on track.